Michele Holcomb

A New Week, A New Outlook

So my last post was a little woe is me! Thanks for the kind words and emails. This week is looking much better.

Why?

Well...because we were APPROVED for the SCHOOL TRANSFER PERMIT!!! That's why! Arianna is beyond excited and as for me...let's just say i'm no longer having nightmares. Last Tuesday was her first day back and she was immediately greeted with hugs from the Teacher's Aide, Ms. Howard. She is in a class of 10-12 other students, with most of them returning from last year. The school is ready for the year with a focus on the Arts and Science. Can I just say that "I LOVE THIS SCHOOL!" We won't get school bus transportation this year which is a bummer, but I would take "no transporting" versus the school that she was at. What's a 20 minute drive gonna hurt? Right?!

Anyway, now that things seem to be falling into place I can get back to creating. I'm really missing it! I've just been so inspired lately by so many people and places. I think it's also the time of year. Fall seems to be one of those seasons that speaks to me and says "Stay in, relax, and create." 

'Til Next Time

Vulnerable

That's my word for the day! 

Not a word I chose on my own...that's for sure. It's a feeling that has been with me since 8:15 am this morning!

That feeling of vulnerability is just creeping into my skin and it's not a good feeling!

I'm feeling a little lost with my role as a "Mommy." And I say "Mommy" cause "Mom" just makes me feel old:)

Today I walked Arianna (my now 8th grade daughter) into her sixth school of her educational career. At this moment, today, all day, tonight...I have no faith in our school system. I try so hard to advocate for her education to just get knocked down. It's tiring! 

The Special Education System has done great wonders for her but with budget cuts, increasing classroom sizes, layoffs, this year it has done nothing but hurt us (or I should say me)! But that is another story!

So why the vulnerability?! Because I worry about her socially. You can imagine that with six schools in 8 years leaves little room for her to develop friendships. I mean true friendships with girls her age that laugh and play together. 

This morning I walked on campus (the campus where I went to Jr. High) and witnessed these bonds between young impressionable teen-age children. The goofing around before 1st period, the laughing, sneaking in the bathroom to put on lipstick, hugging and sitting in the Quad.

These are experiences that my Arianna has not had. Experiences that I want so much for her to live. 

The 1st period bell rings and my Arianna looks at me, gives me a big hug (something that I would've been so embarrassed to do with my mom at 13) and says she loves me. 

I walk off of the campus to the car where Dre is waiting for me. And then it happened. The tears just fell. I feel like this is all of my fault. That I didn't do enough to get her the services that she needed. 

The great husband that I have just listened and let me cry. Then patiently said that "Arianna doesn't know any different. This is her life as she knows it. And to be honest, I don't think she really cares. To her, everyone is her friend."

And you know what? He's RIGHT! 

But is doesn't change the way I feel at the moment! 

So long Summer!

Our 2009 Summer Vacation has come to an end! Although we didn't go to many far off places, spending time in our own neck of the woods has been wonderful. We had lots of BBQ's, water play days, painting, 2 Reno Trips, hangin' out with family and of course sleeping in.  This summer has brought us some new changes...career change for me and going back to college for Dre. So many plans to look forward to as we move into the Fall season. But before I get into a new routine, I want to relish in the last day of summer vacation with a few of my favorite photos. Enjoy!

'Til Next Time